III - Friends and Enemies

Let 'Em In

The Poet of Dumbwoman's Lane

Day with George

Fly by Night

Jerk of All Jerks

The Note You Never Wrote

Picasso's Last Words (Drink to Me)

49th Fearless Sleep

Masseuse Masseur

Hot as That

Little Willow

LET 'EM IN

Someone's knockin' at the door

Somebody's ringin' the bell

Someone's knockin' at the door

Somebody's ringin' the bell

Do me a favor,

Open the door and let 'em in

Sister Suzie, brother John,

Martin Luther, Phil And Don,

Brother Michael, Auntie Gin,

Open the door and let 'em in.

Someone's knockin' at the door

Somebody's ringin' the bell

Someone's knockin' at the door

Somebody's ringin' the bell

Do me a favor,

Open the door and let 'em in.

THE POET OF DUMBWOMAN'S LANE (For Spike Milligan)

The voice of the poet

Of Dumbwoman's Lane

Can be heard across

Valleys of sugar-burned cane,

And nostrils that sleep

Through the wildest of nights

Will be twitching to gain

Aromatic insights.

The wife of the farmer

Of Poppinghole Lane

Can be seen from the cab

Of the Robertsbridge train

And passenger's comments

Frequently turn

To the wages the wife

Of a farmer can earn.

The poet of Dumbwoman's Lane

Sallies forth,

He is hoping for no one to see.

DAY WITH GEORGE (for George Martin)

You have had your white hair cut.

Your son resembles you closely.

Memories slip across

The even landscape.

Gauntlets of close-packed

Road cones,

Heading for the cool zone.

Hearing less, you still make

Plans to set the fiddle flying.

Voice colliding, notions stride

And stream bareback

Towards their home.

Let us eat our meal

Near sunlight

With white polystyrene

Apple juice,

Brown slices,

And small packets of

Butter wrapped in gold.

FLY BY NIGHT

You were the one

--they could never reach

--they could never teach

--that always had something

--they could never touch

--who wanted so much

--who wanted too much

that nearly had nothing

You were the one.

 JERK OF ALL JERKS

I'm a motorist that quite

Likes a drink when he drives

Who cuases the loss

Of innocent lives

I'm the guy whith the pistol

Who kills your best friend

You really can't blame me

'Cos I'm round the bend

Hello - how are you?

I'm the jerk of all jerks

I'm here to undo

All your charitable works

I do it quite simply by

Makling mistakes

And one little boo-boo

Is all that it takes

And you're at the mercy of

Jerk of all jerks.

I'm the man that disposes

Of nuclear waste

There's no need to worry

It's perfectly safe

In fact there is now

Every reason to hope

That if anything happens

I'll easily cope.

Hello -- how are you?

I'm the jerk of all jerks...

I'm the leader who says

As he wages his war

That the children are not

Ones that he's aiming for

Hello.

How are you?

I'm the jerk of all jerks.

THE NOTE YOU NEVER WROTE

Later on, the story goes,

A bottle floated out to sea,

After days, when it had found the perfect spot

It opened up

And I read the note

That note you never wrote to me.

After all, I'm sure you know,

The Mayor of Baltimore is here.

After days now he can finally appear.

Now at last he's here

But he never is gonna get my vote,

'Cos he never is gonna get a quote

From the little note that you never wrote to me.

Further on, along the line,

I was arrested on the shore

Holding papers of government galore.

I was taken in,

But I read the note that you never wrote.

Yes I read the note that you never wrote.

Oh I read the note that you never wrote to me.

Me. Me.

PICASSO'S LAST WORDS (DRINK TO ME)

The grand old painter died last night

His paintings on the wall

Before he went he bade us well

And said goodnight to us all

Drink to me, drink to my health

You know I can't drink any more

Drink to me, drink to my health

You know I can't drink any more

3 o'clock in the morning

I'm getting ready for bed

It came without a warning

But I'll be waiting for you baby

I'll be waiting for you there

So drink to me drink to my health

You know I can't drink any more

Drink to me drink to my health

You know I can't drink any more

49th FEARLEES SLEEP

In empty public waiting room

Remove brown cowboy boots

To walk on glass fragments of

Dolphin ornament that don't cut feet.

White shirt girl writes song

Poet recognizes me and asks about

Donated building.

My son discusses glass piece.

Two red-fleshed newborn babies are adored.

One repeats what I say, ending

With 'Love your mum.'

Poet says, 'Call before you leave town.'

What's the number? Doesn't have one.

Never gets calls, but everybody phones.

Search for boots to go,

See miniature kid's pair

Before finding own.

Fond farewells to all.

MASSEUSE MASSEUR

Ah so, Japanese masseuse

Lie me on a towel

And work me til I'm loose

Hold my hand

And sing me "Yesterday"

Lie, Argentinian masseuse

Beside me on the floor

And work me til I'm loose

Making moaning noises

We'll play girls and boys

Is anyone at home?

Oh you New Orleans masseur

Lie me on a table

And work me til I'm loose

Imagine my leg as hollow bronze

My neck like a giraffe

And I will burn a hole

In your eyes

Til someone comes

To blow the candle out.

HOT AS THAT

As I emerge from a sandy short cut

The lady jogger asks:

How hot is it

In there?

Do you still have that house?

Her male companion asks,

How long do you spend here?

We rent. Three weeks in summer.

A fly flew off a dust dead mouse,

In there.

Do you see a cool man standing before you?

He sweats.

That's how hot it is

In there.

LITTLE WILLOW

Bend, little willow

Wind's gonna blow you

Hard and cold tonight

Life, as it happens

Nobody warns you

Willow, hold on tight.

Nothing's gonna shake your love

Take your love away

No one's out to break your heart

It only seems that way...hey

Sleep little willow

Peace gonna follow

Time's gonna heal your wounds

Grow to the heavens

Now and forever

Always came too soon.

Little willow

Nothing's gonna shake your love

Take your love away

No one's out to break your heart

It only seems that way...hey

Bend, little willow

Wind's gonna blow you

Hard and cold tonight

Life, as it happens

Nobody warns you

Willow, hold on tight.

Ahhh, little willow

Little willow