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VI - All The Lonely People

 

She's Leaving Home

Lady Madonna

Soily

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Paperback Writer

Not On

Rocky Raccoon

Lovely Rita

Tchaico

Junior's Farm

Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da

Wedding Invitation

Flaming Pie

Eleanor Rigby

SHE'S LEAVING HOME

Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begings

Silently closing her bedroom door

Leaving the note that she hoped would say more

She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her hankerchief

Quietly turing the backdoor key

Stepping outside she is free.

 

She (We gave her most of our lives)

is leaving (Sacraficed most of our lives)

home (We gave her everything money could buy)

She's leaving home after living alone

For so many years. Bye, bye

 

Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown

Picks up the letter that's lying there

Standing alone at the top of the stairs

She breaks down and cries to her husband

Daddy our baby's gone.

Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly

How could she do this to me.

 

She (We never though of ourselves)

Is leaving (Never a thought for ourselves)

home (We struggled hard all our lives to get by)

She's leaving home after living alone

For so many years. Bye, bye

 

Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away

Waiting to keep the appointment she made

Meeting a man from the motor trade.

She What did we do that was wrong

Is having We didn't know it was wrong

Fun Fun is the one thing that money can't buy

Something inside that was always denied

For so many years. Bye, Bye

She's leaving home bye bye

 

LADY MADONNA

Lady Madonna, children at your feet.

Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.

Who finds the money? When you pay the rent?

Did you think that money was heaven sent?

 

Friday night arrives without a suitcase.

Sunday morning creep in like a nun.

Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace.

See how they run.

 

Lady Madonna, baby at your breast.

Wonder how you manage to feed the rest.

 

See how they run.

Lady Madonna, lying on the bed,

Listen to the music playing in your head.

 

Tuesday afternoon is never ending.

Wednesday morning papers didn't come.

Thursday night you stockings needed mending.

See how they run.

 

Lady Madonna, children at your feet.

Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.

 

SOILY

People gathered here tonight,

I want you to listen to me!

To your left and to you right,

You've got some pretty soily company.

 

Reader, writer, farmer, priest,

Breed controler, born deceased.

Indian, lawyer, doctor, dog,

And a plumber with a fattened hog.

 

Soily, soily,

The cat in satin trousers said it's oily.

Soily, soily,

The cat in satin trousers said it's oily,

you know he's right.

 

Romans, Italians, country men,

I want you to listen to me!

I've said it twice and I'll say it again,

We've got some pretty soily company.

 

Liar, cheater, jungle chief,

Saint, believer on relief.

Action painter, Hitler's son,

And a commie with a tommy gun.

 

Soily, soily,

The cat in satin trousers said it's oily.

Soily, soily,

The cat in satin trousers said it's oily,

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Soily, soily,

The cat in satin trousers said it's oily.

Soily, soily,

The cat in satin trousers said it's oily.

 

MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER

Joan was quizzical studied paraphysical science in the home

Late nights all alone with a testube oh oh oh oh

Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine calls her on the phone

Can I take you out to the pictures Joh hoan

But as she's getting ready to go a knock comes on the door

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead

 

Back in the school again Maxwell plays the fool again teacher gets annoyed

Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene

She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away so he waits behind

Writing fifty times I must not be so hoan

But when she turns her back on the boy he creeps up from behind

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead

 

P.C. thirty one said we've caught a dirty one Maxwell stands alone

Painting testimonial pictures oh oh oh oh

Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery say he must go free

The judge does not agree and he tells them so oh ho-oan

But as the words are leaving his lips a noise comes from behind

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead

Silver hammer man.

 

PAPERBACK WRITER

Paperback writer

 

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?

It took me years to write, will you take a look?

Based on a novel by a man named Lear

And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

 

It's the dirty story of a dirty man

And his clinging wife doesn't understand.

His son is working for the Daily Mail,

It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

 

Paperback writer

 

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,

I'll be writing more in a week or two.

I can make it longer if you like the style,

I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

 

If you really like it you can have the rights,

It could make a million for you overnight.

If you must return it, you can send it here

But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

 

Paperback writer

 

Paperback writer - paperback writer

Paperback writer - paperback writer

 

NOT ON

Take your hand off my knee, young man,

Said the lady in green

I don't care to come between

You and your young woman.

 

It's just not done!

 

Couldn't we pass up?

Couldn't we fold?

Aren't certain stories

Best left untold?

Some things like

Buttons

Are best left undone

 

--It's not on!

 

Arnie Pipe was a normal type

With an average job

Though his prospects will never be great

His bosses underestimate

His value

(Arnie says).

 

Irene's his fiancee

And would hate to disagree

But the company she thinks is fair

Arnie never does get anywhere

The company owns his underwear

(Clean and well paid for).

 

Take your feet off my desk, young man,

Said the chauffeur in gray

My green woman has been to see me

She's retreating from your advance

 

It just isn't done!

 

Couldn't you join us?

Where can you start

Up as a driver

Looking the part?

 

Hang on says Arnie -

 

Couldn't we pass up?

Couldn't we fold?

Aren't certain stories

 

Best left untold?

Some things like

Buttons

Are best left undone

 

--It's not on!

 

ROCKY RACOON

Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of Dakota

There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon

And one day his woman ran off with another guy

Hit young Rocky in the eye Rocky didn't like that

He said I'm gonna get that boy

So one day he walked into town

Booked himself a room in the local saloon.

 

Rocky Raccoon checked into his room

Only to find Gideon's bible

Rocky had come equipped with a gun

To shoot off the legs of his rival

His rival it seems had broken his dreams

By stealing the girl of his fancy.

Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil

But everyone knew her as Nancy.

Now she and her man who called himself Dan

Were in the next room at the hoe down

Rocky burst in and grinning a grin

He said Danny boy this is a showdown

But Daniel was hot-he drew first and shot

And Rocky collapsed in the corner.

 

Now the doctor came in stinking of gin

And proceeded to lie on the table

He said Rocky you met your match

And Rocky said, Doc it's only a scratch

And I'll be better I'll be better doc as soon as I am able.

 

Now Rocky Raccoon he fell back in his room

Only to find Gideon's bible

Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt

To help with good Rocky's revival.

 

LOVELY RITA

Lovely Rita meter maid.

Lovely Rita meter maid.

Lovely Rita meter maid.

Nothing can come between us,

When it gets dark I tow your heart away.

Standing by a parking meter,

When I caught a glimpse of Rita,

Filling in a ticket in her little white book.

In a cap she looked much older,

And the bag across her shoulder

Made her look a little like a military man.

Lovely Rita meter maid,

May I inquire discreetly,

When are you free,

To take some tea with me.

Took her out and tried to win her,

Had a laugh and over dinner,

Told her I would really like to see her again,

Got the bill and Rita paid it,

Took her home I nearly made it,

Sitting on the sofa with a sister or two.

Oh, lovely Rita meter maid,

Where would I be without you,

Give us a wink and make me think of you.

 

TCHAICO

I knew Tchaikovsky

He lived round our way

He was dead good at music

They used to say

I called him

Tchaico the Psycho

 

JUNIOR'S FARM

You should have seen me with the poker man,

I had a honey and I bet a grand,

Just in the nick of time I looked at his hand.

 

I was talking to an Eskimo,

Said he was hoping for a fall of snow,

When up popped a sea lion ready to go.

 

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go

Down to junior's farm where I want to lay low,

Low life, high life, oh, let's go,

Take me down to junior's farm.

 

At the Houses of Parliament

Ev'rybody's talking 'bout the President,

We all chip in for a bag of cement.

 

Olly Hardy should have had more sense,

He bought a gee-gee and he jumped the fence,

All for the sake of a couple of pence.

 

I took my bag into a grocer's store,

The price is higher than the time before,

Old man asked me why is it more.

 

I said you should have seen me with the poker man,

I had a honey and I bet a grand,

Just in the nick of time I looked at his hand.

 

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go

Down to junior's farm where I want to lay low,

Low life, high life, oh, let's go,

Take me down to junior's farm,

Let's go, let's go, down to junior's farm where I want to lay low.

 

Low life, high life, oh, let's go,

Take me down to junior's farm

Ev'rybody tag along.

Take me down to junior's farm.

 

OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA

Desmond has a barrow in the market place

Molly is the singer in a band

Desmond says to Molly girl I like your face

and Molly says this as she takes him by the hand.

 

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

 

Desmond takes a trolley to the jewellers store

Buys a twenty carat golden ring

Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door

And as he gives it to her she begins to sing.

 

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

 

In a couple of years they have built

A home sweet home

With a couple of kids running in the yard

Of Desmond and Molly Jones

 

Happy ever after in the market place

Desmond lets the children lend a hand

Molly stays at home and does her pretty face

And in the evening she still sings it with the band

 

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

 

In a couple of years they have built

A home sweet home

With a couple of kids running in the yard

Of Desmond and Molly Jones

 

Happy ever after in the market place

Molly lets the children lend a hand

Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face

And in the evening she's a singer with the band

 

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on

Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on bra

La la how the life goes on.

 

And if you want some fun - take ob la di bla da.

 

WEDDING INVITATION

I was told by an American woman

Who was busy looking fixing me a drink

That the children in the building drove her crazy

She may be leaving sooner than you think

 

Well I said that that was pretty high and mighty

She showed a devastating sense of style

When she replied, "It was the fault of automation

That I forgot to have a child."

 

Waiting for a wedding invitiation

Thinking one was going to come along

What you didn't know won't hurt you

 

The bride was looking bitter in a white dress.

The wedding guests had started to arrive.

She said, "My future husband doesn't understand me

But he's glad to be alive."

 

The groom had been a scientific genius

He invented somethjing falling out of bed

But the whole thing nearly turned into a nightmare

When a dirty-looking priest pronounced him dead.

 

He said I'm waiting for a weddingt invitation

Thinking one is going to come along

What you don't know won't hurt you.

 

I'm not putting you down

I will walk with you anywhere you want to go

I'm not putting you down

I will help you with anything you want to know.

 

While working on a piece of apparatus

He discovered that the world was in a mess

So she made him up a sandwitch in the kitchen

And let good old Mother Nature do the rest...

 

It's a handed down American tradition

A prejudice that still exists today

If it wans't for their openness of spirit

They might have long ago been spirited away.

 

They're waiting for a wedding invitation

Thinking one is going to come along

What they don't know won't hurt them.

 

I'm not putting you down

 

I will walk with you anywhere you want to go

I'm not putting you down

I will help you with anything you want to know

 

I'm waiting for a wedding invitation

Thinking one is going to come along

What I don't know won't hurt me...

 

FLAMING PIE

Makin' love underneath the bed

Shooting stars from a purple sky

I don't care how I do it.

I'm the man on the flaming pie

 

Stick my tongue out and lick my nose

Tuck my shirt in and zip my fly

Go ahead, have a vision.

I'm the man on the flaming pie

 

Everything I do has a simple explanation.

When I'm with you, you could do with a vacation

I took my brains out and stretched ‘em on a rack

Now I'm not so sure I'm gonna get 'em back

 

Cut my toes off to spite my feet.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

Never mind, check my rhythm.

I'm the man on the flaming pie

 

I'm the man on the flaming pie

Now everything I do has a simple explanation

When I'm with you, you could do with a vacation.

I took my brains out and stretched ‘em on the rack.

Now I'm not too sure I'm gonna to get 'em back.

 

ELEANOR RIGBY

Ah,look at all the lonely people,

 

Ah,look at all the lonely people.

 

Eleanor Rigby

Picks up the rice in the church

Where a wedding has been,

Lives in a dream,

Waits at the window,

Wearing a face that she keeps

In a jar by the door,

Who is it for?

 

All the lonely people,where do they all come from?

All the lonely people,where do they all belong?

 

Father McKenzie

Writing the words of a sermon

Than no one will hear,

No one comes near.

Look at him working,

Darning his socks in the night

When there's nobody there,

What does he care?

 

All the lonely people,where do they all come from?

All the lonely people,where do they all belong?

 

Ah,look at all the lonely people,

Ah,look at all the lonely people.

 

Eleanor Rigby

Died in the church and was buried

Along with her name,

Nobody came.

Father McKenzie

Wiping the dirt from his hands

As he walks from the grave,

No one was saved.

 

All the lonely people,where do they all come from?

All the lonely people,where do they all belong?

 

 

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